9 Things Only Ellen Could Get Away With

9 Things Only Ellen Could Get Away With

Cheshiretiffy:pats-A-Lats:things Just Transpired In My House Hold That Are Equal Parts Offensive And Hilarious… Here Goes. So My Roommate, Dale, Has A Gf Who Does Not Live With Us, But She’s Here All The Time. So Sunday When My Gf Was Her We Were

Dajo42:Dajo42: I’m All For Ghosts Who Are Nervous About Their First Haunting But I’m Also All For Ghosts On Their Millionth Haunting Who Are Just Showing Up For The Paycheck At This Point “You’re On Big House In The Woods Duty Again Charlie”

Blissless:

Welp.

Desitively-Bonnaroo:motok-Wolf: I Has No Tail Im Gonna Shake My Whole Body Instead Boxers Are A Fucking Treasure Oh My God. Best Dogs

Just Yasmeen

Plsdateme:it’s Funnier When You Find Out That’s His Dad.

Kushandwizdom

Confident-Fear:nesgadol:reblog If Ur Mom Is Smart And Beautifulthis Is One Of My Favorite Sites On Here Because Everyone Who Reblogged It Truly Believes It Because Their Moms Won’t Actually See It

Gunsandwwands:dj-Gryff: This One Time I Ran A Red Light On Mistake And I Didn’t Notice It Was Red Until It Was Too Late So I Just Ran The Light Screeching Like An Angry Pterodactyl The Entire Time A Cop Was At The Intersection So He Pulled Me Over And

Spiritual-Realm:naughtysalamander: Male Moans Are Really Important To Me Like Goddamn Make Some Noise Pump Up The Volume Christ Just Moan Its Very Hot Seriously Tho…………….

Fortressofself:good Job

JizzChoke JordanCarver