Ratfightbehindthefridge: Thecommonchick: *On Phone* Mom: Did You Take The Chicken Out The Freezer? Me: Yes. *Hangs Up* I Just Want Everyone To Know That Your Microwave Has A Button That Says “Defrost.” It’s Not The Same As Heating It. 30 Minutes
bombing: people often ask me “well if 50 shades isn’t your favorite erotic trilogy then what is?” now you can stop fucking asking
