Awwooooooo: Cat Mechanic : I’m Actually Called A Vet Me : Please Check That There Is Enough Oil In My Cats Engine

Fmlsdaily: Today, I Was Getting Sick Of Listening To The Guy In The Next Room Over Getting Nasty With Some Girl, So I Called My Girlfriend To See If She Wanted To Go Get Some Food. Then I Heard Her Phone Ring. Through The Wall. Fml

Fmlsdaily: Today, In My Science Class I Sit Next To My Friend Jill. My Teacher Always Gets Our Names Confused Calling Me Jill And Her Liz. She Decided To Combine Our Names. I’m Now Known As Jizz. My Teacher Clearly Has No Idea What It Means. Fml

Fmlsdaily: Today, I Found Out That My Boyfriend Is Cheating On Me, With The Same Guy I Was Cheating On Him With. Fml

Fmlsdaily: Today, I Was Walking When A Man Pointed A Camera At Me. I Got Bitchy About It, And Said “Did I Say You Could Take A Picture?” He Replied With, “No, But Can You Get The Fuck Out Of The Way So I Can Take One Of My Wife And Kids?” I Turned

Fmlsdaily: Today, While At The Golden Gate Bridge, I Spotted A Large Group Of Asians Trying To Take A Picture. Trying To Help, I Slowly Say, “You… Want Me… Take Picture?” While Using Hand Motions. The Man Looks At Me And Says, “No Thanks Asshole,

Fmlsdaily: Today, I Was Having Sex With My Boyfriend. When He Was About To Orgasm, He Screamed “Yes Brittany!” At The Top Of His Lungs. My Name’s Not Brittany. That’s His Sister. Fml

Fmlsdaily: Today, I Heard My Sister Masturbating In Her Room. I Took The Dog Around The Block To Get Out Of The House, And I Came Back To See Her Leaving Her Room. She Had My Electric Toothbrush In Her Hand. Fml

Fmlsdaily: Today, My Husband Dropped Me Off At Work. Ten Minutes Later I Got A Text Saying “I Just Dropped The B*Tch Off I’ll Be There In A Few Baby, Miss You”. I Asked Him About It. He Said, “I Don’t Know What You’re Talking About, Megan”.

How You Doin'?

Infernosky: Snailphobe: I Love Brendon Urie Miles And Miles Away…. Taylor Swift Trembles. Falls To The Floor As Profit…Slips Away From An Already-Successful Artist’s Fingertips….. How……. Why…….. But The Copyright Laws…………. The

Sophrph: Working In Retail

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