very-best-text-posts: gierlichmypussy: when people give me compliments I feel like a vending machine trying to accept a wrinkly dollar and it’s just really frustrating for everyone involved .txt

very-best-text-posts: gierlichmypussy: when people give me compliments I feel like a vending machine trying to accept a wrinkly dollar and it’s just really frustrating for everyone involved .txt

Very-Best-Text-Posts: Buttermilkqueen: U Know When U Accidentally Scratch Ur Fork On A Plate And The Screech Sounds Like Satan Anally Fisting A Donkey .Txt

Very-Best-Text-Posts: Yeahmanidk: Jackedoff: Poop Is Touching U On The Inside Rightnow Why Would You Even Think Of This I Just .Txt

Very-Best-Text-Posts: Isn’t It Ironichow We Killflowersbecause Wethink Thatthey Arebeautiful But Wekill Ourselvesbecause Wethink That Weare Not .Txt

Notahoe: The Coolest Thing Ever Is When You Drink A Lot Of Water During The Day And Then Your Pee Comes Out Clear And You Feel So Proud Of Yourself You’re Like Hell Yeah These Kidneys Be Hella Clean Son

Starllex: When Youre At The Store With Your Mom And You See Something You Like And You Just

Best-Of-Funny: Partybarackisinthehousetonight: Pro Tip: Glue A Tiny Mirror Over Your Drivers License Photo So When You Hand It To The Police They Will Get Confused And Arrest Themselves Instead X

Best-Of-Funny: Elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: Bombaree: One Time I Was Really Sad And I Decided To Put Cream Cheese And Bagels In A Blender To See If I Could Make A Bagel Smoothie And When My Dad Asked Why I Was Putting Bagels In The Blender At 2

Best-Of-Funny: H0Odrich: I Wanna Jump Off A Building And Not Die Just Relieve Stress By Slamming Onto The Sidewalk And Then Get Up And Go Get A Slurpee Or Something X

Best-Of-Funny: Recklessjustin: Lzayoi: Lzayoi: Wtf Im Going To Feed My Dog A Chicken Nugget I Don’t Know Which One I Find Funnier, The Dog Or When I Went Onto Their Blog X

Fartgallery: I Hate That Like 30 Minute Period Before Going Out Where You’re Stuck In Activity Limbo And Don’t Know What To Do Because You’re Leaving Soon

Christmasblogger: Don’t Show Me Affection Ever Because I Will Fall In Love With You And Die

Saiderp: When You Finally Accept That You Really Like Someone

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