veganb00ty: If you don’t think I’m cute then you’re wrong.

veganb00ty: If you don’t think I’m cute then you’re wrong.

Crystalorphan: I Require A Balance Of Optimism And Pessimism How The Heck Do I Do This

Fahbulus: Hearing Yourself Sing In The Shower And Wondering Why The Hell You Haven’t Made An Album Yet

Pinkhairedlesbianadventures: Starkwords: Deadliftsandbeer: Livelovelaughandlift: Stop Asking For 2014 To Be Good To You. Fucking Grab Your Balls And Make It Good. Grabbed Balls And Just Ended Up Masturbating. Instructions Were Unclear. But Was It

Ohhenryd: Thatpunnyguy: Snazziest: They Call Me Coffee Cuz I Grind So Fine They Call Me Coffee I Keep You Up Past 2 Am They Call Me Coffee Because I’m Really Bitter And Most People Don’t Like Me Without Changing Some Aspect Of What I Am

Sweetpeachytea: Apparently February 14Th Will Be A Full Moon. Celebrate With Your Lover By Turning Into A Werewolf On Your Date And Devouring Them. 100% Romantic I Am An Expert.

Lazoey: Everyone Has That One Celebrity Where No Matter How Shitty Of A Day You’re Having Just Seeing Their Face Or Hearing Their Voice Makes You Smile And For That Split Second You Forget About Your Reality And Are Taken Away To That Made Up World

Buttgenie: I Just Picked Up The Phone Because My School Was Calling And It’s Always A Recording But It Was My Vice Principal’s Voice Talking About How School Starts Tomorrow And I Grunted Really Loud And Screamed “Nooooo” And He Said “Excuse

My Boyfriend Was Eager To Meet My Mom, Despite My Various Protests. I Pulled Into The Parking Lot Of The Cemetery Where She's Buried, Expecting Him To Completely Freak Out. When We Approached Her Grave, He Sat Down, Said Hello, And Talked With Her For

Hamishwatson: Yes Hello 911 I’m Being Forced Into Adulthood And I Don’t Like It Send Help

Suddenlywolf: Straight Guys Are Absurd. I Once Asked One If They’d Kiss A Boy For $50,000 And They Said No. At That Point It’s Not Even Gay It’s Just The Best Option

Hotclog: Hotclog: One Time I Forgot To Put My Pants Back On After I Left The Store Dressing Room And By One Time I Mean Five Minutes Ago

Partybarackisinthehousetonight: The News Is Just Some Person Saying “Good Evening” And Then Giving Reasons Why It’s Not

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